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Marital Bliss

Updated: Jan 30, 2023


I recently passed the 29-year mark of marital bliss. Surely every one of those 10,585 days has been perfect. I realized very recently after needing to change white shirts at the office twice in one day how we managed to survive all ten thousand, five hundred and eighty-five days.




We’re very different. We’re complimentary. I think that’s been the secret. For example, from Monica, I’ve learned how to be patient and at least observed, how to compartmentalize so as not to go crazy under duress. Because of me, she’s learned over the years how to get difficult food stains out of shirts.

I’ve learned from her, theoretically, how to put myself second for the good of the children. Thanks to me, she knows not to tailgate with Scotch, the celebration doesn’t last as long. That is, if she hadn’t already given up all caffeine and alcohol since the day she found out she was pregnant 28 years ago.

Upon reflection, as I noted, I realize, why marriage has been so easy for me. I married a saint. She married a St. Bernard.


That being said, I pay attention. Excruciating attention.




I’ve paid attention mostly to health science and social trends. It’s paid off in different ways. Observing environments taught me to keep an ear to the ground for when I hear Monica coming downstairs so I can jump off the couch and pretend to be cleaning before she catches me taking time off from farting around.


I always thought it would be fun to find a subject I could expand upon with satire and write a book, maybe about marriage?


Instead, a few months ago, I decided to write one about weight loss with a different slant. I got a few chapters in and decided the topic is too complicated for a short, entertaining read. It would make more sense to write a book on how to gain weight the easy way. Uncomplicated, very easy to follow. You know, pick up donut, insert and repeat sort of stuff.


I may still do it so I hate to give the idea away, but I decided if I do write one it will be about the four things that matter for health. If followed it would be a crushing blow to our institutionalized healthcare system. The basis is that for the overwhelming amount of research I read the conclusions and basis for a ton of pharmacological intervention could have been avoided in the first place by just adhering to the four things.


One of them, needless to say, is exercise. For example, if you’re sedentary you were 290% more likely to die from Covid under the age of 60. A disease with a .2% fatality rate. I mean, you could REALLY reduce your odds just by exercising.


When Dr. Fauci was coy about masks initially and then later said it was to keep PPI available to health care providers he could have instead instructed us to “mask” our risks by actively managing our health.


Maybe acknowledge the fact that psychiatric issues (eg: being on anxiety/depression meds prior to Covid) doubled the risk of death. In other words, anxiety was a risk factor. A big one.


Exercise is a fantastic prescription for anxiety and depression. See how that works?


Think about the fact that only 12% of the population is metabolically fit and only 04% of people over 60.


. . . 290% more likely to die if you were sedentary, 12% of the population is fit . . . what did we do?





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